Book Review of Conversations With Friends by Sally Rooney

This must be autobiographical I thought while reading Conversations With Friends  by Sally Rooney. It rings so true - from the very human characters - university student Frances, Nick, the handsome actor she has an affair with, Melissa, his intimidatingly brilliant wife, and Bobbie, Frances’ old girlfriend and best friend - to the authentic conversations that are had in person, text and via email.

I looked at the author’s bio on the back cover. Rooney has the pale skinned, waif-like brunette looks of the protagonist Frances. This must be autobiographical I thought again.

Conversations With Friends was Rooney’s debut novel published at the age of 26 in 2017.  Like Frances, Rooney attended Trinity College as an English student similarly inhabiting the literary, arts and social circles of that world. In an article by Isobel Thompson in Vogue magazine, Rooney says  she also had to navigate how to become socially acceptable:

“And that certainly informed the novel. That’s how Frances feels with Melissa and their friends: I want these people to accept me. How do I do that? How do I observe them closely enough that I can fool them into thinking I can belong?” 

Rooney states that although the novel is based in that world the specific characters and events are fictional. While the characters seem to live in a rarefied air of art shows and literary events, no one is very wealthy, and Rooney relates to the reality of having to work minimum wage jobs and unpaid internships while creating art and waiting for that big break.

Like Frances, Rooney shares beliefs about feminism, sexism, racism and women’s reproductive rights just to name a few. The novel explores these themes through nuisanced conversation between the characters. In true Millennial fashion, there is an openness to the ideas of relationships and love that are not exactly traditional. 

The basic plot of the story is about two young women who become involved in the lives of an older married couple. It is both a coming of age story as well as a romance. Told through the first person narration of Frances, both herself and the other characters are seen ideally (“You think everyone you like is special” says Bobbie at one point) but also at their most vulnerable. Rooney says:

“I understood these characters as people – as the author, you know them better than they know each other. In one sense it fits with that classic narrative of the young ingénue having an affair with an older married man, but I wanted to complicate the power dynamics that we attribute to that dynamic.” (In an article by Nathalie Olah  in Refinery 29)

So, while Conversations With Friends is not exactly autobiographical,  Rooney’s own views and experiences certainly had a part in shaping the novel. This doesn’t diminish the effect this novel had on me - it makes me admire her writing even more! Rooney’s style has been described as dry, straightforward and dialogue-heavy reminding me of my literary favourites Jane Austen and Joan Didion, both known for sharp dialogue, direct and observational prose. I have found a new favourite author and will definitely be reading more of her work. 

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